Only Have Big White Balls for You

I put on my designated date outfit: a black turtleneck and a brown tweed skirt with some large wooden buttons that hit slightly stage left of my crotch. I borrowed this set on multiple occasions from one of my five roommates (this is not hyperbole, and I’m fairly certain it is illegal in the city of Pittsburgh to have this many people on a lease). I could merely mention to this roommate I was going on a date and she’d toss me the outfit. On this particular evening, I text her asking if I can borrow it again.